Monday, January 05, 2009

Motherhood...the best of times and the worst of times

So, I have this friend who just had a baby. She is feeling all kinds of overwhelmed and just really wondering when all of the loving, mothering feelings kick in. My sister is also expecting baby girls (2!) in April. I think it is time to bare it all. What are the good and bad things about being a mom. It isn't all sunshine and roses but it isn't all poop bombs, either.

My big thing that no one told me (and, consequently, the one my friend, Jessica, is struggling with) is that you don't always feel instantly connected to the baby. I told her that I think the first six weeks is ridiculously hard because it is thankless. Not one smile for all of the work that you are doing. If the baby is a screamer (think Ty), then forget bonding because not throwing them out the window or selling them to the gypsies is your #1 goal. I think that once you get past that part and they start acknowledging your presence, it is much better.

Also, I didn't realize that everyone would be an expert on my kid BUT me. It seemed like no matter what I did (with baby 1, 3, or 4) I was doing it wrong. At least according to every random stranger in WalMart, Target or Lowes. I think new moms become queen of graciousness out of necessity.

All that being said, I also didn't realize that I would ever love someone with such depth of emotion. Even when I am hating being a mom (dragging a fit-throwing four year old and screaming 3 month old out of the mall while trying to convince my 2 year old that he is not, in fact, a dog and crawling around on all fours while barking is inappropriate), I love these 3 little kids more than life itself. It doesn't get to that point immediately but it does get there.

Now, add your good or bad things that you didn't know or realize were coming with motherhood.

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